Here is my journey to find out what makes me unmistakable, what brings me joy... and to release the thoughts in my head.



March 10, 2011

Finding Myself

In the past few months, I have had a chance to spend time reading, and journaling. I have taken the road toward authenticity, and want to step out of my shell for a moment and publicly reflect.

I have found that I was afraid for a long time of using dark colors in my home. Afraid it would become a cave. Recently, I took a chance, and decided to use some warm earth tones in my living room. For the first time, I love to come home and sit in this room. It was a place I would not be comfortable in before. At this moment, it is glowing in the light of candles, and the scents of spiced oil. I am relaxed and calm in a way that I have not been in years, if not my entire life.

I laughed with my daughter tonight as she played with ginger ale and blueberries. Instead of a crying match before bed, she had time on her exercise ball, as I lifted the foot stool with my legs to work out a little bit myself. Then, the snack as I emptied the dishwasher, and she has headed to bed. I hear the tick tock of the clock on the wall. And that is all.

Maybe no one will read this. Maybe some will. I just wanted to reach out in this moment to say I think I found what I sought a year ago. Maybe most of my life. Quiet reflective moments, in a place that feels warm and wonderful to my inner most being. Plain and simple.

No, not plain, rich and monumental. But, simple just the same...

No comments: