I am a Christian woman, raised in a household of faith, and through out my life have sought the Lord to be an integrated part of who I am. Even as a little girl, after a move from Rhode Island to New Hampshire, from my mother's faith- filled home to my father's, let's just say not faith filled one, I sought God in my life. I recall walking to various churches on Sunday mornings to get in sync, if you will. I have learned along the way, though, that there are many types of faith. And to me, if we are seeking a connection with the Lord, then we can find our way. Hmm, where was I going with this? Oh, yah, I know, into the sense of where I come from.
You all know God uses animals through out the Bible to make points or to help those within the stories to have a better focus: sheep, swine, ravens, doves, fish, and others appear to help us have a better understanding of what is expected. For my life, you may have guessed, it is deer- does to be exact.
Over ten years ago, Darrell, Brian, and Bud (my Father-in-law), were in a car accident. It happened just hours before I was to go on an overnight retreat. Scary, huh? Well, Darrell insisted it was okay for me to go, and I debated within myself. How supportive would that be? But, he convinced me that things were okay, and I headed out. By the time I got to the retreat, it was getting to be dusk. I parked my car and put my things in the cabin. Then, I made the decision to hoof tot he dining room, at least a 1/2 mile down the road. Wouldn't you know, in my haste and preoccupation, I tripped over a rock, and fell. I cut my knees and hands, and plopped on my butt and cried. I began to feel even more like I was not supposed to be there. I asked for a sign that this was the right place for me to be. As I stood up, out of the woods, not ten feet from where I stood, a doe appeared. We gazed at each other, and calm came over me. She went off, and I went to dinner. By the end of that weekend, I discovered that I was needed at the retreat. There were two women there from my church I had been avoiding, and through the series of events, we left with a bond that has not yet been broken.
Now, if that seems a bit unusual to you, it did to me as well. So, I did what the modern day woman does, and looked up animal totems online. I found out that deer symbolize love, gentleness, kindness, gracefulness and sensitivity. Deer carries the message of purity of purpose, and of walking in the light. Yah, right, I thought, okay. But, since that weekend, I have had several instances when I was struggling with something or someone in my life.
The first day of a job that was fulltime after Ruth was born. A whole herd of deer walked across the road in front of me. When I struggled daily in a classroom with a co-worker that didn't do her job and yet was praised, while I did mine and was warned about my attitude, we could count the deer along the road. Sometimes up to 20.
The most recent was the day Darrell got laid off. I had left the grocery store and worry kicked in. Did we do the right thing? How will we make ends meet? What will happen next? Wouldn't you know, a spring fawn jumped right out into the road? I stopped to make sure that there were no other following, when it jumped back across the road. To my left, eating at a bird feeder was its mother, and sibling. A familiar sense of calm came over me, and I realized that things will be okay. You all saw my post that day, and it is true.
Okay, so I have probably bored you, or made you think I am way out there. But, if I can find an outward symbol of how God wants me to live my life, then I think all is well.
2 comments:
What a beautiful reminder that God is with us each and every minute of every day! The Deer is a beautiful symbol! We have a ton of deer around our home - your post has given me a new perspective on those beautiful creatures.
Do you know the song, Cindy B?
"As the deer panteth for the water, so my soul, longeth after thee?
You alone are my heart's desire and I long to worship you?"
God has such a beautiful purpose for your life and he sends his own to remind you in the form of the gentle deer.
This is such a lovely post. Once again I am awed to know you. Sorry I haven't called. I'm preoccupied with my thoughts for this weekend. I love you! ~Kathy
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