Here is my journey to find out what makes me unmistakable, what brings me joy... and to release the thoughts in my head.



April 30, 2008

Setting the Tone

When I went to pick Ruthe up at the bus stop today, I was late. I worried the whole time. It was not her usual driver, who will pull off for a couple of minutes. As I waited, wondering if things are okay, I thought about last night, and how I might change the way I am handling things.
So, when she bounced off the bus, with an explanation of how the new lady didn't make all the stops and was early, I tried something new. Instead of asking how her day was, I asked for a hug. She huffed, and started to tell me the 'bad' things. "Sweetie I want a hug. I am not worrying about the report yet. First hugs, then swinging, snack, and homework. I want to enjoy you for a bit." "HUH?" Just go with me for a bit...
We went swinging. Well, she swings and I push. I asked about her day. Negative stuff spewed from her mouth. "Ruthe, I want to hear something good about your day, please." OH. I got a short story about getting on the bus with a wave from her best pal. Not much, but I will take it.
Home work went smoothly, and then the book. I am beginning to hate the book. The one that says daily how she does things that are not "normal". Picking scabs was today's entry. It makes sense. She picks scabs, and squeezes the spot to make it bleed. The teacher doesn't understand. But, I think she is willing to try. I dread the pages that I will write about how this is connected to the hair pulling. Yes, a small bald spot on the crown of my beautiful red headed wonder. Or how it is connected to cutting herself. Self mutilation is not a fun topic. I want to move on. :)
I want to say I got to ENJOY my girl today.
I spent time doing class work before she came home. I spent time with Brian, discussing Hungary and mythical creatures, and my hearing loss. All good. I am going to make a planned meal. Even better.
But the best:
no tears, no yelling, and no frustration.
Thank you, Lord for speaking to me about "listening". I am trying.

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