This has been one of those days. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Ruth had her evaluation today with the Occupational therapist, and it has been decided that we are adding another diagnosis on top of the General Anxiety, Trichotillimania, and Gastric Reflux. Though this one makes the most sense: sensory integration disorder. i thought I understood it, until I attempted to read. This is linked closely with Pervasive developmental disorder and autism. Pretty scary stuff.
I know that I have a battle ahead of me as I try to explain this "new" condition to the family. It will sound as though I have made up a new language, and I just think that they will all think I am losing it. This is real though, and I think it makes a lot of sense, I thought this could be Brian's issue years ago, and no one would listen. Now, there are those listening to my concerns about my baby girl, okay she is not a baby, but still, and I don't know if I want to listen back. I do, but it is scaring the daylights out of me.
No I am back to considering homeschooling, and actually the therapist is starting to think that this is a good option too. I just don't know to do, and I am sure there is no one out there right now that can help, but I want to put this down and begin to process it all.
1 comment:
I've just been surfing the net for ideas to help with eyelash and eyebrow growth and I stumbled upon your site. I thought I would take a moment to share a little of my trip on trichster road. For me, it started at the age of 8. I am now 44 years old and have only been able to completely stop the pulling for the last year and 4 months. Life for me has been difficult to say the least. I do blame a lot of it on the fact that I have suffered with trichotillimania for so many years. The pain is mostly emotional. After many years of being made fun of, beat up and hurt you begin to believe that you really are worthless and that's when it can become dangerous because thoughts of suicide will cloud your mind real thick. For a child, in my humble opinion you need to let them know that you love them no matter what and that the most important thing is them and who they are. Don't beat them, don't make fun of them and listen to them when they come home crying after some meanie made them the butt of a joke. Most of all listen and ask questions. I have been able to stop the pulling since I "remembered" or should I say figured out that the pulling began at the age of 8 almost immediately after a dirty old man did something to me. I asked my father to take me to the place where he got his hair cut so I could get mine trimmed. Instead he handed me some money and sent me there alone. It was a short walk from our home so I went up there alone. My mind blocked it out for all these years until recently I began thinking about it and I had struggled (unbelieveably) to stop the madness and stop hating myself for it. Then I remembered going up to the Barber shop and I remember that he did something horrible to me and that I was terribly frightened. But I still don't remember exactly what he did...and that's fine. I don't need to remember any details at this point. I called my Father and asked him if I told...and he reluctantly told me that I did but my parents didn't do anything about it and I believe that's part of why I started pulling. I was really ANGRY! I guess my Mom thought my Dad would go up there and kill the man and leave her alone with 5 kids to raise. My Mother passed away in 2001, Thankfully her and I had made ammends and she felt deeply sorry for never getting me any help for my condition. I forgive my Dad and I forgive myself too. My point is that I think sometimes Trich can be caused by a much deeper issue, one always worth exploring. As for me now. I am over it. Totally. The urge is gone, but I do still suffer the residual effects of low self esteem and not trusting anyone. My trich was isolated to pulling of the lashes and the brows. I didn't pull my brows out but a couple of times and now they are non existant. I have to wear what I call eyebrow medicine. There are hairs, but they are very light. My lashes have grown in nicely, but without mascara it looks bare. So, it's still a daily struggle. I can say though and this may sound crazy but I'm thankful for my years of trich. But only because of what I've learned from it, not how it made me feel. I've learned to be kind, understanding, loving and non-judgemental of others. No matter what their plight may be.
I wish you total success with your daughter. I hope that she is able to pin point why she pulls and stop it so that she doesn't have to suffer a life time of indignities by narrow minded people that have nothing better to do than hurt others so they can fill up their own feelings of inadequacy.
Sincerely,
Former Trichster
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